Saturday, January 23, 2010

Everything happens for a reason...

So...in our life together as La Robertos, we have been through alot. We have always been super unsure about what we wanted to do religion wise and have had many many struggles to get where we are, we have moved numerous amounts of times that have been things that are not in our control, some were some werent. But as we sit were we are today we look back and realize that everything has seriously lined up the way we needed it to. I have been really sad and torn on the reason that I have misscarried in the past and if it happens again what will we do, then I think back.....In Dec 2008 we were in Clearfield, we had a horrible experience with my sister and "starting a business" with her. We were in a horrible situation that once again, was not caused by us and we hated the house we were in and everything all around, things were horrible at that time. We have always had a hard time with Ryker since pretty much the kid could walk, he is ssoooooo hyper and not interested in things that another kid would be interested in so it has taken a long time to get him acting the way he does now, which is still more active then another so he wears me out like no other! lol But the point is (sorry haha) In Dec 2008 on Christmas I found out I was pregnant, I have never taken birth control, but we at that point we not "preventing" either, On the 27th I started to bleed and get crampy, so went to the ER, they did their thing said that if this was a actual misscarraige then I would bleed within two days and have to come back due to pain. So went home that night, woke up at 6 am in absoultey no doubt misscarraige pain. We were so sad, we were really looking forward to it and it broke our heart. Then we ended up moving out of that house and things were a little better, but still not good enough. So here we are today, looking back, there is NOOOO way we were ready for a baby at that point anyway, we are just bearly getting to the stage with Ryker that he is giving us some down time and not requiring so much attention. (and at the point of moving into this house I would have had three kids with Ryker out of control! lol)And we have now decided that we are both wanting to go to church and having faith in things we would never have seen that coming..caught us off gaurd! So we know that this all happened for a reason. I am pregnant, I am feeling it, I am not hurting, I am not showing any signs of misscarrying at this point (fingers crossed!!!) I had all the problems with my stomach and I seriously believe it all happened for a reason and thats why I am finally able to have a reason for the misscarraige last time, I think it made this one possible to carry. I think now we are able to handle it and are wanting to have another, but I truely believe if for some reason it does not happen, there was a reason for it. Gotta have faith right!? :) The past few days have been a little interesting...I have been soooo unusually tired, I normall cant even sleep more then five hours and it takes me forever to even fall asleep, and I never want to take a nap when I am not sick. The past few days I have been hitting my pillow at about 9..boom out..sleep like a rock, wake up at 7-8 feeling like I slept like crap :) I like it, it makes me know things are normally functioning and sucking all life out of me! I think JD smells like tools, which is odd, he has ALWAYS used tools, not once have I ever smelt this on him ;) I think its funny! And I feel nada in pain, yet I feel multiple signs in there being a actively growing embryo inside! I am going to go back into the doc to retake the test and make sure my levels are rising, they said I abnormally felt all the stuff way too soon, so my levels are low, but I have too many signs to say no. Plus a trace of hcg just tells them that I am extremely aware of what my body is doing. I got used to that with having my stomach hurt with the cysts that I had to pay very very close attention to weather or not what I was feeling was related to my stomach. So JD is trying to get used to the bitchy part of me again..he is not a fan he said! lol But he is trying to understand so he just lets me get hot and mad, then smiles and hugs me! I love that guy, he is so patient and willing to just shut up to avoid more of a problem, unlike me, I hate that part of me! And we havent told our kids just yet, we want to wait til we hear a heartbeat so they are not confused. So we will keep ya updated and let ya know everything that happens, its all going to go the way its going to go no matter what we think...so we are praying it all goes our way ;)

2 comments:

  1. It would be lots of fun IF we really were preggers together! Good luck with it! I am here for ya and Dan is there for JD! lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. :) That would be pretty fun! Get on it would ya, I am so soon that you could still start right now and we could be the whole pregnancy pretty much!

    ReplyDelete